Looking back and moving forward.

Today someone had to guess my age (btw not my idea - I hate guessing anyone's age so why should I put someone else through that?) and she guessed 21, which made me smile. Then I moved forward with my work.
We put a lot of store in age do we not? Bit strange. For come to think about it how does age define you? Sure the older you get the longer you have lived and consequently have more experience (in general). But age is no skill it's just time moving forward and us moving along with it.

All of that up there I suppose is my introduction to what is about to come. Today I had to drive my mum to the marching band I used to play in not even a year ago.
It ended quite suddenly and I had to process what had happened. But now six months after I made my choice quitting the band I feel so much relief. I used to put so much store into this "institution" tried to shape myself into whatever it took to really fit in. I let it define me and what was I then when I stopped? I was me. The girl that's always been there right before me. And it's only by living through those years and coming out on the other side that I can stand here and know (most of the time anyway) who I am.
I. Am. Happy.
I never realised how much "it" kept me down. How it restrained me. Kept me from another life.
Don't get me wrong if it wasn't for those 13 years I wouldn't be the one I am today.
I wouldn't be able to play the music I play not would I be playing in the new band I found.
But I must admit At first I resented "the institution". And I secretly rejoiced in my "evil" little heart that they had to change their concert programme because I left.
I was sad, hurt and mad at first. I even "cleansed" my flat from all the stuff I had accumulated from "it" through the years. But now six months away I feel nothing. No resentment nor any ill feelings whatsoever towards the band or the people in it.
I've stopped caring - I've reached the other side. The side of indifference. I've been released.
A weight has been lifted from me, a weight I did not realise I was carrying.
And as I sat there today waiting for mum while reading my book it really hit me. I truly am happy.
And I am finally free for only by this indifference have I been released.

I'm moving forward, I'm changing.
I'm slowly starting to become me.

Fact three... I'm Danish.