Saturday, March 24, 2012

Mindset or other.

Music and books really all get muddled up in my brain. They become this liquid blending together and install in me a sense of awareness.
A longing to be free, to say what seem to come  so naturally but then... Life kicks in.
The spell is broken, the mood change and I am drawn back from the world inside of me.

I suppose that is one of the reasons I enjoy nay love to read. It's a portable world.
And your library card the key to untold worlds and words that can change you.

- I wrote the above a little over a week ago and since I am currently not in the particular mindset I was in when I wrote it, I've decided to post it just as it is. -

Fact four?... Today I had to tell a boy I'm not interested in him.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Looking back and moving forward.

Today someone had to guess my age (btw not my idea - I hate guessing anyone's age so why should I put someone else through that?) and she guessed 21, which made me smile. Then I moved forward with my work.
We put a lot of store in age do we not? Bit strange. For come to think about it how does age define you? Sure the older you get the longer you have lived and consequently have more experience (in general). But age is no skill it's just time moving forward and us moving along with it.

All of that up there I suppose is my introduction to what is about to come. Today I had to drive my mum to the marching band I used to play in not even a year ago.
It ended quite suddenly and I had to process what had happened. But now six months after I made my choice quitting the band I feel so much relief. I used to put so much store into this "institution" tried to shape myself into whatever it took to really fit in. I let it define me and what was I then when I stopped? I was me. The girl that's always been there right before me. And it's only by living through those years and coming out on the other side that I can stand here and know (most of the time anyway) who I am.
I. Am. Happy.
I never realised how much "it" kept me down. How it restrained me. Kept me from another life.
Don't get me wrong if it wasn't for those 13 years I wouldn't be the one I am today.
I wouldn't be able to play the music I play not would I be playing in the new band I found.
But I must admit At first I resented "the institution". And I secretly rejoiced in my "evil" little heart that they had to change their concert programme because I left.
I was sad, hurt and mad at first. I even "cleansed" my flat from all the stuff I had accumulated from "it" through the years. But now six months away I feel nothing. No resentment nor any ill feelings whatsoever towards the band or the people in it.
I've stopped caring - I've reached the other side. The side of indifference. I've been released.
A weight has been lifted from me, a weight I did not realise I was carrying.
And as I sat there today waiting for mum while reading my book it really hit me. I truly am happy.
And I am finally free for only by this indifference have I been released.

I'm moving forward, I'm changing.
I'm slowly starting to become me.

Fact three... I'm Danish.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A litte mistake can cause such irritation.

Don't you just hate it when you notice spelling mistakes and other of the sort in the blog you JUST posted.
I know I do xD

But alas now it is there and I am not about to change it, nor do I know how to without writing it all again once more. Which I must confess I cannot be arsed to do.

Hmm but now that I am here I must tell you I know I use "I know" a lot.
If you actually stick around this blog you'll notice a frequent use of "actually" too.
And there's bound to be many more of the ones posted above.

Anyway as you may or may not have noticed my Blog title is "No sound but the keys." and that my address is boundbyroots. I don't really think things through - or read things through hence the mistakes in the last post, and there will be loads more in the future. If not some already hiding in between the words I've typed (will type).

I'm rambling, honestly Cora. Do you really wish to look back at this years from now? You're a knob and you need to stop typing to yourself this instant.

And as you can see I often take things in another direction - changing subject - out of nowhere.
So I beg your pardon for any future whiplash my blog might cause you.
You have been warned.

What I was trying to say is that the names are somewhat random yet they do have a link to me.
+ it's getting harder to come up with names that is not taken.
The internet isn't as new as it used to be.

Bound by roots. That I am. I like to think and see myself as free but when it comes down to it I am bound by so many things. I suppose I do like to linger and grow roots yet I yearn to release it all and go away.
Living somewhere else, somewhere slightly out of my comfort zone.
Don't get me wrong I like where I'm living now, I'm looking forward to my years at uni in the city I am already living in etc. But maybe that's just it.
It's easier to stay where I am, with everything I know. So I've taken the easy road... Or maybe not.

No sound but the keys is just a bit of a pretentious name isn't it?
It doesn't really tell a lot about my blog nor about me.
But don't we all need a bit of pretentiousness in our lives? Besides it's what I could come up with at that moment in time.

I've run out of things to type so with this lame ending I stop.

Another fact... I'm from Scandinavia.

The start of nowhere.

I've never been one for blogs. It's not that I have anything against them I just don't write them.
You see when I start I have the best intentions but they never seem to mount to much.
This time though it will be what it will be. A record of my comings and goings.
May it prosper or wither away which ever road it takes.

So here I am typing away, the only sound really are the ones coming from the keys I press down to write this blog. And I am still at a loss how to begin it all...
Am I to introduce myself? Am I to divulge some of my quirks maybe even dreams and secrets?

I guess I should just start wherever I feel the need to.

So far in my life I am, I guess a quarter through it that is to say 25 years, I have yet to establish my place in the world. What I want I've never been really sure of. I'm more of a dreamer than a planner.
But what I do know for absolutely certainty is that I have met my soulmate, and in/through a place I did not expect. Here I am speaking in terms of a bond that is not romantic, no I have met the friend I know I will have throughout my life. She is the one who knows me like no other and I her.
This I know does not sound very remarkable, I know, for lots of people have best friends.
But I never truly had one before her.
We don't even live in the same country, an ocean separates us. Yet this only seem to make us stronger.
She is like a sister to me and so much more.
To quite Ed (to the ward) Cullen - I feel very protective of (you) her.
Maybe it's to do with the fact that I'm six years older than her and that she lets me sort of be her "older sister".
Which is somewhat amusing seeing as I am the youngest of my siblings and she the oldest in her flock.
In that way we have reversed our roles compared to the part we play in our families.

It's a bit weird sitting here writing about her, writing about us. Anyone could stumble across this blog and read what I have written so far. Though if you are one of the people I speak of and you've read as far as this I congratulate you.

I'll leave the blog for now and see what happens.
Will I return? Will I share my secrets? Will anyone ever read this shiz?
No one can tell yet so I guess only time will tell - as cliche as that is.

Little fact... I'm European.